It is sad to tell that nearly the first thing Mr. Adjective did when he was set free was to have a quarrel with Pronoun.

When the Judge came into court the next day he found them both much excited.

“It is mine, I know it is,” said Pronoun.

“And I know it is mine,” cried Adjective. “I’ll ask the Judge if it is not.”

“I’ll ask him, too,” said Pronoun. “My lord,” he continued, coming forward, “her is mine, and Adjective wants to take it from me. But when I claimed it in court before, he said nothing about it.”

“I thought the more,” returned Adjective, “but I supposed that you would give it up quietly without all this fuss in court.”

“I would willingly give it up if it were yours,” said Pronoun; “but it is not.”

“It is,” cried Adjective, angrily; “I tell you it is.”

“Silence!” said the Judge, sternly. “Brother Parsing, be kind enough to question both Adjective and Pronoun, that we may know the cause of this quarrel, and hear what each has to say for himself.”

“Certainly, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing. “Adjective, what words do you claim?”

“My, thy, his, her, its, our, your, and their,” replied Adjective.

“Well, Mr. Pronoun, tell us how you make them out to be yours.”

“Nothing is easier,” answered Pronoun. “These words stand instead of nouns, and therefore they must be pronouns. When you say ‘my thumb,’ my lord, you mean Judge Grammar’s thumb, so my stands instead of the noun Judge Grammar. And when you say, ‘Little Bo-peep has lost her sheep,’ you mean little Bo-peep’s sheep, therefore her stands instead of little Bo-peep. So my and her are clearly pronouns; and thy, his, its, our, your, their, are used in just the same way, and therefore must be pronouns too.”

“It would seem so,” said the Judge. “What has Mr. Adjective to say to that?”

“I will soon tell you, my lord,” replied Adjective. “You will, of course, allow that an adjective is a word that may be used before a noun, to tell something about the thing that the noun names. It has been said that if you can put thing or things after a word, that word (not counting a or the, of course) is sure to be an adjective; as, a good thing, a bad thing, large things, little things, and so on. Well, I am sure you can say my thing, thy thing, his thing, her thing, its thing, our thing, your thing, and their thing. Therefore, my, thy, his, her, its, our, your, and their, must be adjectives.”

“H’m! It is all very well to say must,” remarked the Judge, “but then Pronoun says they must be pronouns. Are there any more of your words, Mr. Pronoun, that Adjective claims in the same way?”

“My lord,” answered Pronoun, “he claims all the words of mine that may be used before a noun. This, that, these, and those, for instance.”

“Of course I do,” said Adjective; “for when you say this bird, that horse, these rabbits, those people; this, that, these, and those are clearly used with a noun, but do not stand instead of one.”

“Ah!” said Pronoun, “but when you say ‘look at this,’‘take that,’ ‘may I have these?’ ‘burn those;’ this, that, these, and those are not used with a noun, but clearly stand instead of one, and therefore they are pronouns.”

“It seems to me,” said the Judge, half to himself, “that sometimes they are adjectives, and sometimes they are pronouns.”

“That is just what I say, my lord,” cried Adjective, “and if you will allow it, I think I know of a way that will make peace between us directly. Let us call them Adjective-Pronouns, and have them between us. When they are used, not with a noun, but instead of one, then Pronoun may have them all to himself; but when they are used like adjectives, before a noun, then we will have them between us, and call them Adjective-Pronouns.”

“That seems very fair,” replied the Judge, “and I certainly allow it. Mr. Pronoun, be kind enough to give us a list of your words, and Mr. Adjective will point out any that may be used as Adjective-Pronouns.”

So Mr. Pronoun began: “I, thou, he, she, it, we, you, they, mine, thine, his, hers, its, ours, yours, theirs; my, thy, his, her, its, our, your, their.”

“Those last eight are between us,” said Adjective, “for they can all be used before a noun.”

“Myself, thyself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, or yourself, themselves,” said Pronoun, with a little toss of his head, “those, at least, are all mine, Mr. Adjective.”

“Continue repeating your words, sir,” said the Judge, sternly; “do not stop to talk.”

“This, that, these, those,” continued Pronoun.

“Adjective-pronouns, all four of them,” remarked Mr. Adjective; “we have shown that already.”

“Each, either, neither, one, other,” continued Pronoun.

“Stop,” said the Judge; “we have not had these words before. You must give us some sentences to show that they are pronouns.”

Pronoun replied: —

Two sparrows had a fight to-day,
Each wished to take a worm away;
One pulled at it, so did the other,
Neither would yield it to his brother.
Had either given up at least,
His brother would have had the feast;
But while they fought a thrush came by,
And with the worm away did fly.

“There, my lord,” continued Pronoun, “all the words, each, one, other, neither, either, stand for sparrow in those lines, and as sparrow is a noun, they must be pronouns.”

“They are adjective-pronouns sometimes,” remarked Mr. Adjective, “for you can say, ‘each boy,’ ‘the other day,’ ‘on either side.’”

“Certainly,” said the Judge. “Have you any more, Mr. Pronoun?”

“Who, which, what,” continued Pronoun.

“You must show that they are pronouns,” said the Judge.

“‘Here is the man who shot the tiger,’” said Pronoun. “‘Here are two apples; which do you choose?’ ‘I know what I want.’ Who stands instead of the man, because you could say, ‘Here is the man; the man shot the tiger.’ Which stands instead of one of the apples, and what stands instead of the thing that I want, whatever it may be.”

“Yes,” said Serjeant Parsing. “But if who and what are used to ask questions, as, ‘who is there?’ ‘what is that?’ then what do who and what stand instead of?”

“If you will answer the questions, and tell me who was really there, and what that really was, then I will tell you what nouns who and what stand instead of; but if you do not know any answer to your own questions, then of course I cannot tell you what noun my little pronouns stand for; I can only tell you they stand instead of something, and therefore are pronouns.”

“Which and what are used before nouns sometimes,” cried Adjective: “‘which way are you going?’ ‘what bell is that?’ therefore they are adjective-pronouns too.”

“At any rate,” said Pronoun, haughtily, “who is altogether mine, for you cannot say, ‘who way,’ ‘who book,’ ‘who man,’ or anything of that sort.”

“Hoo! hoo! hoo! ha! ha! ha! he! he! he!” cried a voice among the crowd. “Old Adjective beaten! hurrah! bravo!”

Every one in the court looked round to see where such strange sounds came from.

“It is Interjection,” said Serjeant Parsing, angrily, making a dive at the crowd behind him, to try and catch hold of some one in it.

“Critics,” cried the Judge, “seize that fellow, and bring him here.”

But that was more easily said than done, for little Interjection was as quick and active as any street boy in London. He dodged in and out amongst the other Parts-of-Speech, and was here, there, and everywhere, till at last he tumbled up against Serjeant Parsing, who held him fast till the Critics came up. He is such an odd little creature, that you could hardly tell what he is like. One moment he is crying bitterly, and the next he is in fits of laughter; when you look at him again he is perhaps shrieking for fear, and in another minute he is standing on his head for joy. He is so fond of standing on his head, that people say he had his portrait taken so once (!), and that is why they put a note of exclamation (!) after his words; but that is all nonsense, of course.

“Interjection!” said the Judge, sternly, “you are the last of all the Parts-of-Speech, and have no business to interrupt the court now. Let me not hear you again until your turn comes.”

“Alas! alas!” cried Interjection, wringing his hands. “Mr. Parsing says I am only a poor little fellow thrown in (that is what my name interjection means, thrown in), to express surprise or fear, joy or sorrow. When folks do not know what to say next, one of my little words pops in, and poor Mr. Parsing is at his wit’s end to know what to do with it, ah! ah! Off! off!” he cried, changing his tone, and suddenly jerking himself out of the policeman’s hold. “Away! away!” he shouted, springing to the door; and before they could catch him he was indeed away, and they heard his “ha! ha! ha!” die away in the distance.

Serjeant Parsing then turned to the Schoolroom-shire folks, and asked them to mark off on their slates places for Mr. Noun, Pronoun, Adjective, and little Article, and a corner somewhere for tiresome Interjection; and while he read to them, to put down a stroke in the right place for each word that they knew. “And when you come to an adjective-pronoun used with a noun,” continued Serjeant Parsing, “put a stroke on the line that divides Adjective’s ground from Pronoun’s. That will be like a little man sitting astride on the wall, with one leg for Pronoun to pull and one for Adjective. Of course if it is used instead of a noun, and not with one, then Mr. Pronoun must have the stroke all to himself. Whichever Part-of-Speech gets the most strokes gains the game.”

This is what Serjeant Parsing read.

“Alas! alas! that naughty boy,” said Harry’s mother, as she waited for him to come back from school. “He must have gone to play with the other boys at the big pond, and he will certainly fall in, for the boys are sure to try the ice, and it is too thin to bear them yet. Oh! my poor, dear boy! what shall I do? If he falls into the black, cold water, he will certainly be drowned. My darling Harry! ah! why does he not come home? If I had any one to send…. Why, there he is, I declare, with his hands full of oranges. Oh! the naughty boy! I will give him a great scolding. To give me a fright, and keep me waiting while he was buying oranges! Harry, you are a naughty, careless, tiresome —— What! kissing me, you little rogue, to stop my mouth. There! there! do not pull down my hair, and never give your poor mother such a fright again; and now come in and see the lovely Christmas-box I have for you.”

Grammar-Land

Chapter VIII.
Dr. Verb

VerbsAre of 3 KindsActive·Passive &Neuter —Lindley MurrayVerbs Are of 3 Kinds Active·Passive
& Neuter — Lindley Murray

The next Part-of-Speech called up before Judge Grammar, to give an account of himself, was Dr. Verb.

He came bustling up with an air of great importance.

“My lord, my name is Verb. I am called Verb because verb means word, and the verb is the most important word, the word, in fact, in every sentence.”

“The most important word!”cried Mr. Noun, interrupting him. “My lord, he says the verb is the most important word in every sentence! Why, Dr. Verb, you know that you cannot give the name of a single thing, for all names are nouns, and belong to me. The verb the most important word, indeed, when I have the name of everything!”

“I know that,” answered Dr. Verb, “I know very well that when people want to name a thing they must use a noun. But do you suppose that when they have simply named a thing they have made a sentence? Not a bit of it. To make a sentence you must tell something about the thing that you have named; you must say whether it is or has or does anything, as: ‘Ice is cold,’ ‘Puss has a tail,’ ‘Blackbirds sing.’ Is, has, sing, are verbs, and so are all words that speak of being, having, or doing, and without some such word you cannot make a sentence.”

“You think so, Dr. Verb,” said the Judge, “but I should like it to be proved. Brother Parsing, just call some of the other Parts-of-Speech forward, and let them try to make a sentence without Dr. Verb.”

“I will, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing. “Noun, Adjective, and Article, be kind enough to step forward, and each of you give me a word.”

“Sun,” said Mr. Noun.

“Bright,” said Adjective.

“The,” said little Article.

“Very good,” said Serjeant Parsing, “now I will put them together; ‘sun bright the;’ ‘the bright sun;’ ‘the sun bright.’ They do not seem to make quite a proper sentence, my lord, any way.”

“Of course not,” said Dr. Verb, interrupting; “for when you say ‘the bright sun,’ which sounds the best of the three ways, you still have not made a sentence, for you have not said whether the bright sun is shining, or is not shining, or whether you can see it, or what it does. ‘The sun bright’ of course is nonsense; but say the sun is bright, and then you tell a fact about the sun, and you have made a sentence fit to set before the king.”

“You had better try Mr. Noun again, Brother Parsing,” said Judge Grammar. “Perhaps he can give you a more convenient word.”

Serjeant Parsing turned again to Mr. Noun, and asked for another word.

“Hippopotamus,” answered Mr. Noun. Mr. Adjective gave fat.

“Now, little Article, give me a,” said Serjeant Parsing, “and I will put them together. ‘Hippopotamus fat a;’‘a fat hippopotamus;’ ‘a hippopotamus fat.’ H’m! it sounds odd.”

“‘A fat hippopotamus’ does not sound wrong,” put in Mr. Noun.

“Not wrong, of course,” answered Dr. Verb. “You may mention a fat hippopotamus, if you like, or any other animal, but unless you tell something about it you have not made a sentence. Say that it is, or has, or did something, if you want to make a sentence; like ‘a fat hippopotamus is here;’ or ‘a hippopotamus has a fat body;’ or, ‘a hippopotamus ate me up,’ or, ‘swam away,’ or something of that sort. Then you will have some famous sentences, but you will have had to use verbs to make them, for is, has, ate, swam, are all verbs, for they are all words that speak of being, having, or doing.”

“How can we always find out if a word is a verb?” asked Serjeant Parsing.

“It is sure to be a verb if you can put a little to before it,” answered Dr. Verb; “to be, to have, to do, to eat, to drink, to swim, to fly, to speak, to think, to run, to dance, to play, to sing, to sleep, to wake, to laugh, to cry, to call, to fall;” and Dr. Verb stopped, quite out of breath.

“That sounds very easy,” said Serjeant Parsing. “Let me try it with the words that you said were verbs; to is, to has, to ate, to swam.”

“Stop, stop,” cried Dr. Verb; “not like that. You must not put to before any part of the verb you like. Is is part of the verb to be, has is part of the verb to have.”

“Is, part of the verb to be?” said Serjeant Parsing. “What do you mean? why, the two words have not a single letter alike.”

“True; but still they mean the same sort of thing. When a countryman says ‘he be a brave lad,’ he means the same thing as ‘he is a brave lad;’ or when he says, ‘I be too tired,’ he means, ‘I am too tired.’ Is and am ought to be used according to the laws of Grammar-land instead of be, but as they both express something about being they are said to be parts of the verb to be. In the same way has is part of the verb to have, ate is part of the verb to eat, and swam is part of the verb to swim.”

“That is very learned, I daresay,” said Serjeant Parsing, “but will you kindly tell us, Dr. Verb, how we are to guess that am, or any other word that has neither a b nor an e in it, is part of the verb to be?”

“You cannot guess, of course,” retorted Dr. Verb, sharply. “I never said you were to guess. You must use your reason, to find out whether they have the same sort of meaning. Or if you like it better, learn the song that Mr. Pronoun and I have made up, to bring in all the different parts of the verb.”

“A song?” said Judge Grammar, in surprise. “I did not know that you could sing, Dr. Verb; but let us hear your song, by all means.”

“If you will not interrupt me, my lord, I will give you three verses of it,” answered Dr. Verb.

“No, we will not interrupt,” said the Judge.

So Dr. Verb began: —

Grammar-Land

The Song of the Verb “To Be.”

________Present Tense.

I am_____________Thou art
He is____________We are
You are_________They are

____________Past Tense.

I was____________Thou wast
He was__________We were
You were________They were

__________Future Tense.

I shall be________Thou wilt be
He will be_______We shall be
You will be______They will be

When he had finished, every one burst out laughing.

“And you call that singing, do you, Dr. Verb?” said the Judge.

“Dr. Syntax, there, calls it conjugating, I believe,” said Dr. Verb; “but I think singing is a prettier and easier name for it.”

“But it is not a song at all,” said the Judge, nearly laughing again; “there is no tune in it, and no rhyme.”

“It is the best that Pronoun and I could make alone,” said Dr. Verb, angrily. “But it can be easily made to rhyme if the other Parts-of-Speech will help. Listen.

Present Tense.

I am an Englishman merry and bold,
Thou art a foreigner out in the cold,
He is a beggar-man hungry and old;
We are not happy to see you out there,
You are too snug and warm ever to care,
They are at home with us now, I declare.”

“That will do,” interrupted the Judge; “we do not want to hear any more to-day. Another day I shall want to know what you mean by calling the verses Present Tense, Past Tense, and Future Tense — why you have just six of your words in each tense, — and whether other verbs can be conjugated in the same way.”

“I can answer at once that they can, my lord,” said Dr. Verb. “Indeed, very few verbs change as much as the verb to be, so that they are all easier to conjugate; as, I have, thou hast, he has; we have, you have, they have. I live, thou livest, he lives; we live, you live, they live.”

“Enough for to-day, Dr. Verb,” interrupted the Judge once more; “we will hear about them next time. Meanwhile, as we shall have further examination of this verb to be, I should like my friends in Schoolroom-shire to make a copy of it, to bring with them. I shall also request them to find out all the verbs in the following verses: —

“Sit to your task,” a father said,
“Nor play nor trifle, laugh nor talk,
And when your lesson well is read,
You all shall have a pleasant walk.”
He left the room, the boys sat still,
Each gravely bent upon his task,
But soon the youngest, little Will,
Of fun and nonsense chose to ask.
“My ball is lost,” the prattler cried,
“Have either of you seen my ball?”
“Pray mind your book,” young Charles replied.
“Your noisy words disturb us all.”

The court then rose.

Grammar-Land
Grammar-Land

Chapter IX.
Dr. Verb’s Three Tenses and Number and Person

Tense or TimeTimeFuturePastPresentTense or Time Time Future Past Present

“Now, Dr. Verb,” said Judge Grammar, the next day, “we have well examined this that you call your ‘Song of the verb To be.’”

“Conjugation, my lord, if you like,” said Dr. Verb, bowing.

“I do like, certainly,” replied the Judge. “Conjugation is a much better word than song — longer and more respectable, and in every way more suited to Grammar-land. Con-ju-ga-tion — this conjugation of the verb ‘to be.’ We require you to explain it.”

“With pleasure, my lord. You see, it is divided into three verses.”

“Verses!” exclaimed Serjeant Parsing. “You know it is not to be called a song, Dr. Verb.”

“Quite so, quite so,” said Dr. Verb, bowing again. “Well, Tenses, then. It is divided into three tenses, the Present Tense, the Past Tense, and the Future Tense, which mean the present time, the past time, and the future time; and your lordship knows that all time must be either present time, or past time, or future time. Just as when you are reading a book. There is the part you have read, that is the past; the part you are going to read, that is the future; and the part you are reading now, that is the present.”

“We understand,” said Judge Grammar; “but pray explain why you divide your verbs into these three parts.”

“To show how my verbs change when they have to mark the present, past, or future time. You see, the verb ‘to be’ takes am for the present, was for the past, and adds on will or shall for the future. I am in the present time talking to your lordship. I was in the past time talking to your lordship. I shall be in the future time talking to your lordship.”

“Indeed, I hope not,” cried the Judge, putting his hands to his ears. “Pray do not go on forever talking to me. I have heard quite enough of your voice already. Step back, and allow Mr. Pronoun to take your place, and explain the rest of the conjugation to us.”

“Allow me to say one thing more,” said Dr. Verb. “Please, Mr. Parsing, whenever you see a will or shall, or any other little verb put in to show the time, will you remember that it is only a little helping verb, used to make up the tense of some other verb, and therefore to be counted in with that, and not taken alone.”

“Just give an example of what you mean,” said Serjeant Parsing; “I do not quite understand.”

“I mean to say that when you see ‘he will go,’ you must take will go as part of the verb to go; and when you see am coming, was dancing, has eaten, had fought, you must take them as parts of the verbs to come, to dance, to eat, to fight. The first words, am, was, has, had, are very good and respectable words by themselves, of course; but when they are used with another verb, they are never offended if you just take them as part of that other verb.”

“Thank you. I will remember,” said Serjeant Parsing, laughing. “Now please to stand back, and allow Mr. Pronoun to answer. — Mr. Pronoun, pray why do you use these particular six words, I, thou, he, we, you, and they, to make up Dr. Verb’s tenses?”

“I use I and we,” answered Pronoun, “to stand for the first person; thou and you to stand for the second person; and he and they to stand for the third person.”

“What do you mean by the first person?” asked Serjeant Parsing.