“Yes,” said the Judge; “hand them up, brother. No, do not begin again, Dr. Verb; no more complaints to-day. And remember, friends, that in these lines every verb must have a Nominative, unless there is a little to before the verb. Then it has none — it does not agree with anything. And remember, too, that every noun or pronoun that is in the Nominative case is to get an extra mark on your slates. I wish you good-morning, gentlemen.”

So saying, the Judge rose. The verses were handed to the people of Schoolroom-shire, and the court was cleared.

Serjeant Parsing’s Verses.

The hen guards well her little chicks,
The useful cow is meek;
The beaver builds with mud and sticks,
The lapwing loves to squeak.

In Germany they hunt the boar,
The bee brings honey home;
The ant lays up a winter store,
The bear loves honeycomb.

I lost my poor little doll, dears,
As I played on the heath one day;
And I cried for her more than a week, dears,
But I never could find where she lay.

The maidens laughed, the children played,
The boys cut many capers,
While aunt was lecturing the maid,
And uncle read the papers.

Grammar-Land
Grammar-Land

Chapter XII.
Adverb

Lucy ReadsVery OftenAdverbLucy Reads Very Often Adverb

“Now Dr. Verb,” said Judge Grammar, next day, “I am ready to hear what is your great complaint against Pronoun.”

“Why, my lord, when he is in the Objective Case —— ”

“I object, I object!” exclaimed the Judge, while a general murmur of disapproval ran through the court. “No, no, we have had enough with the Nominative Case; we will not have another case brought in. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, sir, to keep us listening to your nonsense about an Objective case, while your devoted friend Adverb is waiting to be heard. Sit down, and let Adverb speak.”

“Devoted friend!” muttered Dr. Verb, as he obeyed. “I am sure I often wish he would leave me alone. He sticks on to me so tight sometimes, that we look like one instead of two, and he is a good weight to carry. Besides, he is always teasing by asking why, and when, and how everything is done. Friend, indeed!”

But Adverb did not hear what Dr. Verb was muttering. He came forward, bowing politely, and rubbing his hands together, as if he were washing them.

“Very much obliged, indeed,” he said, smoothly; “very kind of my friend Dr. Verb to give way to me! So like him!”

“You seem to be fonder of him than he is of you,” remarked the Judge. “Pray, why do you follow him so closely?”

“I like to hear what he says, and to point out to others how exceedingly well he speaks,” answered Adverb.

“He is always exaggerating my words,” grumbled Dr. Verb. “If I say I like anything, Adverb puts in very much indeed or extremely well, or some such silly words; or, if he is in a bad temper, then he flatly contradicts me, and says, no, or not, or never. If I say will, he adds not, and makes it will not; if I say can, he makes it cannot, even sticking his word on to mine as if it were part of it. Sometimes he does worse. He actually dares to alter my word after he has stuck his tail on to it, and so he makes will not into won’t, cannot into can’t, shall not into sha’n’t, and so on. The wo’, and ca’, and sha’, is all he has left me, and the n’t is his.”

“Has he always treated you in this way?” asked the Judge.

“As long as I can remember, my lord,” answered Dr. Verb. “That is why, when we were at school together, the boys called him Adverb, because he was always adding his words on to mine. And he has kept the name ever since.”

“Your lordship must remember,” remarked Adverb, in a mild tone, still rubbing his hands very smoothly together, “that Dr. Verb is rather out of temper this morning, and is, perhaps, not quite just. For indeed it is a fact that I make his words much more useful than they otherwise would be. Besides, I treat Mr. Adjective in much the same way, and he does not complain.”

“It is quite true,” remarked Adjective, coming forward, delighted to get a chance of using his tongue; “it is quite true that Adverb has his word to say about me, just as much as about Dr. Verb. He is always putting very, quite, more, most, and words of that sort, before my adjectives, and exaggerating them: as, very beautiful, quite charming, more obstinate, most provoking, and I do not complain of him for that. But one thing I do complain of, my lord, and that is, that Adverb will take my words, right good adjectives, stick a ly on to them, and call them his adverbs. For instance, he takes bright, puts ly to it, and makes it brightly; he takes bad, and makes it badly; nice, and makes it nicely; beautiful, and makes it beautifully.”

Judge Grammar at this held up his forefinger, and solemnly shook his head, till he nearly shook his wig off.

“Mr. Adjective, Mr. Adjective!” he said, “I am surprised at you. You complain of Adverb for doing the very thing that you do yourself. We all know that you keep your pockets full of tails ready to stick on to your neighbours’ words — ful, ous, able, like, ly, and plenty more, and you use them as often as you can with other people’s words. But when Adverb uses his one little ly with your words, then you are up in arms directly. And yet you know very well that according to the laws of Grammar-land every Part-of-Speech may make as many new words out of old ones as he likes, and is to be praised, not blamed, for it. Adverb may put his ly on to as many of your words as he can, and you have no right to find fault. I wonder at both you and Dr. Verb. You ought to agree with Adverb better.”

“We none of us agree with him,” remarked Pronoun, “nor he with us.”

“He certainly has no number, or person, or case,” replied the Judge; “but he is none the worse for that. He gives Serjeant Parsing less trouble than some of you. What did you say about asking questions, Adverb?”

“I teach the game of how, when, and where,” replied Adverb; “how, when, and where, are all my words, and so are the answers to them.

How do you like it? pray you tell?
Not too much, extremely well.
When do you like it, tell me when?
To-day, to-morrow, now, and then.
Where do you like it, answer fair?
Here and there and everywhere.

All these words that answer how, when, and where, are mine,” continued Adverb, “and so are the forfeit words yes, no, or nay.”

“Ah! but black, white, and grey are mine,” said Adjective, interrupting; “and please, your lordship, you were mistaken in saying that Adverb has only one tail, ly, to put on to other people’s words. What do you think of upwards, downwards, homeward, forward?”

“Yes, they are certainly adverbs,” said the Judge, “and you might say that wards and ward are the tails he has added on to up, down, home, for; but these words are not yours, Mr. Adjective, so you have no right to interfere.”

“Well, my lord,” replied Adjective, “at any rate I have a right to speak about once, twice, thrice, for Adverb has stolen them from my one, two, three.”

“Once, twice, thrice,” repeated the Judge; “is that all?”

“He has not got a word for four times,” answered Adjective; “once, twice, thrice, and away, is all that he can say.”

“Then I think,” said the Judge, “that you ought to be ashamed to grudge them to him, when you have one, two, three, and as many more as you can count; besides first, second, third, fourth, and all that list. I do not like such greedy ways, and as a punishment, I order you to hand up a list of adjectives to be turned into adverbs. Our friends may take them to Schoolroom-shire and put a ly to each of them; then they will be adverbs, and will answer to one of Adverb’s questions, how, when, or where.”

This is the list Mr. Adjective made out.

Grammar-Land

quick________bright_______soft__________strong_______distinct______clear_________neat________sharp
sudden______late_________punctual_____regular_______sly__________cunning______false________true
pretty_______dainty______funny________free___________happy______awful

Grammar-Land

Chapter XIII.
Preposition

UpA LadderDown the HillPrepositions·Up A Ladder Down the Hill Prepositions·

“To, from, of, for, over, under, on, near, at, by, in, among, before, behind, up, down —— Pray, who is the owner of all these little creatures?” said Judge Grammar, the next day. “Mr. Noun, are they yours?”

“No, indeed, my lord,” answered Mr. Noun, “they are not the names of any one or anything that I ever heard of.”

“Dr. Verb, are they yours?”

“I should not object to having them, my lord,” answered Dr. Verb, “if I could do anything with them; but they seem to me neither to be nor to do, nor to suffer any —— ”

“That will do,” interrupted the Judge, afraid that Dr. Verb was beginning one of his long speeches. “Mr. Adjective, do you claim them?”

“They do not qualify anything, my lord,” answered Adjective; “indeed, they seem to me poor, useless, silly, little —— ”

“We do not want you to qualify them, thank you,” said the Judge, “but to tell us if they are yours. Article, we know, has only a or an and the, so they cannot be his. Mr. Pronoun, do they belong to you?”

“No, my lord,” answered Pronoun. “As Mr. Noun has nothing to say to them, neither have I. They do not stand instead of any name.”

“Well,” said the Judge, “we know they do not belong to that tiresome little Interjection. Are they yours, Adverb?”

“I should be extremely glad to have them, my lord,” answered Adverb, smoothly washing his hands, as usual. “I have no doubt I could make them exceedingly useful —— ”

“That is not what I asked,” said the Judge; “are they yours?”

“I cannot say they are exactly mine,” said Adverb; “but —— ”

“That is all we want to know,” interrupted the Judge. Then raising his voice, he continued: “If there is any one in this court to whom these words, ‘to, from, of, for,’ etc., do belong, let him come forward.”

At these words, a sharp, dapper little fellow stepped forward, and looking around the court with a triumphant air, exclaimed, “They belong to me.”

“And who are you?”

“Preposition, my lord. My position is just before a noun or pronoun. My words point out to them their proper position. I keep them in order.”

“You keep them in order?” said Judge Grammar, looking down at him through his spectacles; “how can a little mite like you keep Mr. Noun in order?”

“Little or big, my lord, that’s what I do,” said Preposition. “I settle the position of every one and every thing, and show whether they are to be on or under, to or from, up or down.”

“Kindly forgive me for interrupting you,” said Adverb, coming forward. “I really must remark that up and down are my words.”

“How do you make out that?” asked the Judge.

“I will show you directly, my lord,” answered Adverb. “By the help of my questions how, when, and where, which, you know, I alone can answer. If you say, ‘sit up,’ I ask, ‘how am I to sit?’ The answer is, ‘up.’ ‘Lie down;’ ‘how am I to lie?’ The answer is, ‘down.’ Up and down, therefore, answer to my question how, and are mine.”

“Stop a minute,” said Preposition. “I also can answer to your favourite questions how, when, and where. Listen: —

How do you like it? tell me true.
Made of sugar, dressed in blue.
When do you like it? answer me.
At my dinner; after tea.
Where do you like it? say, if you’re able.
On my lap or under the table?”

“Really,” said Adverb, smiling politely, “that is very cleverly done. But allow me to make just one remark. You have not answered one single question without the help of some other part of speech. Mr. Noun has helped you with ‘sugar,’ ‘dinner,’ ‘tea,’ ‘lap,’ ‘table;’ Mr. Adjective lent you ‘blue;’ Mr. Pronoun, ‘my;’ and so on. Now I, without any help, answer the questions quite alone.”

“You cannot expect a little fellow like me to stand quite alone,” said Preposition; “I don’t pretend to do it. I told you at first that my right position is before a noun or pronoun, or some such word. All I mean is that I help to answer the questions, and that neither Mr. Noun nor Mr. Pronoun could answer them without me.”

“Is that true, Brother Parsing?” asked the Judge.

“Quite true, my lord,” answered the learned Serjeant. “When I find the questions ‘how?’ ‘when?’ or ‘where?’ answered by one word alone, I put that word down to Adverb. But when I find them answered by Mr. Noun or Mr. Pronoun, helped by another little word, then I know that that other little word belongs to Preposition.”

“Yes, my lord,” continued Preposition; “so if you say ‘up a ladder’ or ‘down a hill,’ up and down are mine; they show your position on the ladder or the hill; they are the little prepositions put before Mr. Noun’s words ladder and hill. But, of course, if you were to ask how I am to step up or down? then Adverb could call up and down adverbs, because they are added on to the verb ‘step,’ and they have nothing to do with a noun or a pronoun.”

“Precisely,” said Adverb; “my friend Preposition is perfectly correct. I immensely admire my young friend, although he does not move in quite so select a circle as myself.”

“Don’t I?” said Preposition, with a knowing little nod.

“I think Mr. Noun quite as good company as Dr. Verb, any day. Besides, even grand Dr. Verb is glad enough to have my little to to put before his verbs. When he makes up his ‘songs,’ as he calls them, he always puts my little to before the name at the top. He is glad enough to have it to point out his verbs, and does not despise me at all, though I do not stick on to him like a leech, as some people do;” and Preposition nodded his head very fast a great many times at Adverb.

“Dr. Verb does not agree with you, though,” remarked Pronoun, quietly.

“No,” said Preposition, “I do not alter for him, nor he for me. But he does not agree with Adverb either. Poor Adverb agrees with nobody, and nobody agrees with him; and he, poor fellow! cannot govern anybody, either. Now I govern every noun or pronoun that I come before, for I put them in the Objective Case.”

“I object,” cried the Judge. “I will not have that word brought into court. I said so before, and I say so again. Nominative Case is bad enough, but Objective Case is enough to turn a brown wig grey in a single night. Break up the court! Critics, clear the room!”

And Judge Grammar rose hastily from his seat, and stalked angrily out, while all the Parts-of-Speech stood looking speechlessly at each other till the policemen came, bundled them all out, and locked the doors behind them.

In spite of the hurry, however, Serjeant Parsing managed to hand up to the people of Schoolroom-shire the following verses, begging the ladies and gentlemen there to find out all the prepositions in them, and to count how many lines there are in which Preposition has nothing to say.

The Fairy-Ring.

Beside a bluebell on the heath,
Among the purple heather,
A fairy lived, and crept beneath
The leaves in windy weather.

She drank the dewdrops from the stalk,
She peeped into the flower;
And then she went to take a walk,
Or ride for half-an-hour.

She rode upon a cricket’s back,
She came before the Queen,
The fairy Queen, with all her court,
Within the forest green.

They had a dance upon the grass,
Till larks began to sing;
And where they danced, as all may know
They left a fairy-ring.

Oh, pretty fairies! why not stay,
That we at you may peep?
Why will you only dance and play
When we are fast asleep?

Grammar-Land
Grammar-Land

Chapter XIV.
Prepositions Govern the Objective Case

Look at MePrepositions GovernThe Objective CaseLook at Me Prepositions Govern The Objective Case

“When the Parts-of-Speech found themselves so suddenly turned out of the court, they collected in a group before the door, and looked at each other in astonishment.”

“Here is a pretty thing!” said Mr. Noun, indignantly. “Fine way to treat us, indeed!”

“And after all, I only said what is true,” said Preposition. “I do put every noun or pronoun that comes after my words in the Objective Case, do I not, Dr. Syntax?”

“Prepositions govern the Objective Case,” said Dr. Syntax, in his usual monotonous voice; then lifting his spectacles, he twisted his head round to look at Preposition, and actually deigned to explain his words by saying: “Whatever noun or pronoun a preposition is placed before and refers to, must be in the Objective Case.”

“Speak to him,” murmured Serjeant Parsing, as if he were talking to himself: “him, a pronoun, objective case, governed by the preposition to.”

“Mr. Pronoun, you hear that!” exclaimed Mr. Noun. “This little Preposition is said to govern us, you and me, in the Objective Case. Very impertinent, on my word!”

“On my word!” again muttered Serjeant Parsing. “Word, a noun, Objective Case, governed by the preposition on.”

“However, it does not matter to me,” continued Mr. Noun, without taking any notice of Serjeant Parsing. “It will make no difference to me;” and he turned away, with his hands in his pockets, and began to whistle a tune.

“It does matter to me, though,” said Pronoun, “for I have to alter my words according to the case they are in. I is only in the nominative case, me in the objective; we is nominative, us objective; he nominative, him objective, and so on. You cannot say ‘look at I;’ you must say ‘look at me.’”

“Look at me,” echoed Serjeant Parsing, in the same quiet tone: “me, Objective Case, governed by the preposition at.”

“Quite so,” continued Pronoun, turning to Serjeant Parsing. “I am objective there, I cannot help it; I must be objective after a preposition.”

“Yes,” said Serjeant Parsing, aloud, “and it is very convenient for me that you must. It often helps me to find out whether a word is really a preposition or no. I just try whether it wants I or me after it. Take when or if, for instance. You can say, when I go, if I were; so when and if are not prepositions. But you cannot say ‘for I,’ or ‘from I;’ you must have the Objective Case, and say for me, from me; so for and from are prepositions governing the Objective Case.”

“You had better take care,” said Preposition; “you keep on saying Objective Case, and if you say it before Judge Grammar, you know you will get us all into trouble again.”

“Oh, never fear,” said Serjeant Parsing; “the Judge will listen to us patiently enough, next time. Besides, he must hear about Objective Case, whether he likes it or no, because the prize will partly depend upon it.”

“The prize! what prize?” cried every one.

“Listen. There is to be a grand trial or examination soon. All the Schoolroom-shire children are to be invited, and all you Parts-of-Speech are to make up a story between you. You will each get a mark for every word you give, and whoever gets the most marks will get —— ”

“Yes, what? what will he get?” they all cried out eagerly.

“Ah! that is a secret. What I want to tell you is, that any word that governs another will get an extra mark. For instance, when I say ‘Listen to me,’ the preposition to puts me in the Objective Case, so to will get an extra mark.”

“That is splendid!” cried little Preposition, clapping his hands and jumping about for joy. “I always govern a noun or pronoun in the Objective Case, so I shall get two marks every time I come in.”

“Not quite so sure,” interrupted Dr. Verb. “Sometimes you come before a verb, to eat, to sleep, to fly, and then you can only get one mark, for you do not govern me, my little dear, seeing that verbs do not have a case at all.”

“Ah, but you have to agree with your Nominative Case, Dr. Verb,” said Pronoun; “so I suppose, when I am nominative, I shall have an extra mark, for I might be said to govern you in a sort of way.”

“No, no,” said Serjeant Parsing, putting in his word, “you are not said to govern Dr. Verb; he agrees with you, that is all; but the Nominative Case, being a very honourable one, will always get two marks.”

“Then,” said Mr. Noun, suddenly stopping his whistling and taking an interest in the conversation, “I am of course to get two marks for every noun in the Nominative Case?”

“Certainly,” answered Serjeant Parsing.

“And in the Objective Case also?” asked Mr. Noun.

“No, no,” said Serjeant Parsing, laughing; “that would be too much of a good thing, since your words are nearly always either nominative or objective. No, no; on the contrary, the Objective Case, being governed by other words (even such little trifles as prepositions), is not considered at all an honourable case, and therefore will not only give a noun or pronoun no extra marks, but will take away one of those it already has. For instance, if I am parsing ‘Come to me,’ and I give Mr. Pronoun a mark for me, I must strike out that mark as soon as I find that me is in the Objective Case, and must give it to Preposition for his little word to, which governs me.”

Mr. Noun and Mr. Pronoun both looked very dismal at these tidings, and then Mr. Noun said: —

“I hope no one else except Preposition can put me into the Objective Case.”